I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
