why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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