My nipple is on Facebook.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
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