p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring me the toilet please
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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