hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
i think my cat just said my name.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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