You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
