so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
false alarm. still invincible.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
