He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
