Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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