You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
