Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I love you.
Bad choice
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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