Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
wow bdsm is so cute
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
