This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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