Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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