Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Alive.
So much puke
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I lost the right to judge tonight
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
