erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
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