Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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