i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
