I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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