ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
