I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
