Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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