i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
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so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
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Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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