I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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