In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
