I'm drive I can fine osifer
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
