This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
