We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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