so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
