i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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