the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
When did angry sex become our thing?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
