her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Randomize
