I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
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