When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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