redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
