I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Randomize
