He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
