i jhust puked up my retainher.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Randomize