Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
You're a waste of cheezeits
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
