Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
