I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
