xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
