I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
