so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
