so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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