sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
vagina is talking i cant
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
