I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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