she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
