I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
