I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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