I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
