Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
