I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
