is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
