who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
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