thus making me awesome and them whores
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
The adults are the big ones right?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
