that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Girls should come with a carfax report
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
