We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
