Whod you bang
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
