Can i not drive my cunt home
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize