I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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