No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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