No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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